The Hunter Partnership Alliance

ISSUE:

It seems that every day another company breaks up. In almost every case, it`s because of the failure of the owners and/or managers and/or executives to create and maintain a "partnership" relationship with each other.

ABSTRACT

All too often, relationships are seen as being nothing more than a necessary arrangement wherein people in business establish the parameters of their working relationship with each other. Quite to the contrary, true partnership must be recognized as form of human interaction. A true partnership must consider and include:

1. A shared vision

2. Inclusion

3. Trust

4. Listening to each other

5. Respect for each other

6. Open and honest communication

7. Compassion for each other`s feeling

8. No competition

9. No righteousness

10. A willingness to embrace the differences

DISCUSSION

If you had gone to law school like many of us, you would remember the detailed discussions of partnerships held during some class on business arrangements. The sterile and exhaustive prescriptions regarding percentage of ownership, distribution of profits, dissolution in the event of the death of a partner and the like all found their way into the courses on business and corporate law. The issues served to heighten the apprehensive and adversarial quality of this form of business relationship.

Black`s Legal Dictionary clearly defines a partnership as "a voluntary contract between two or more competent persons to place their money, effects..." continuing ad nauseam. Thus all to often business partnerships are seen as being nothing more than a perfunctory, legally binding document wherein partners establish the parameters of their legal relationship and set forth the specific rights and responsibilities of each partner. In the detached legal environment, a partnership is treated as a negotiated act that once completed and documented, is filed away and reviewed only when disputes arise between the partners involved.

This legalistic paradigm of partnership would work perfectly if it involved perfectly rational beings. However, this is precisely the problem with this most common form of legal relationship. Because partnerships involve human beings, emotional creatures for whom misunderstanding and misinterpretation abound, they are not purely legal phenomena.

What has been lost in all the minute, legalistic detail is that true partnership must be recognized aq a phenmmenll hh hql`j interaction. Partnership, when viewed in this manner, provides a context for everyday living which must be nurtured and cared for or it will inevitably die. It is just this failure that causes the breakup of countless companies every year.

If businesses are to succeed and endure, they must begin to account for the human beings that are bound together in them. A true partnership relationship must include the following:

1. A shared vision

Most companies have, at best, a set of goals and objectives. While it is important for a business to identify its objectives, vision is distinct from a set of objectives. Vision lies entirely in a different domain. It has to do with the nature and kind of business to be created, the tone and feel of the business for all stakeholders. A vision is inspiring, like landing a man on the moon and returning him safely or developing a reputation in an industry for providing the highest quality products and the best customer service. A vision is the view of the future which the company is committed to creating. Vision serves to bind people together, as the Declaration of Independence did for our forefathers or Lee Iaccoca`s vision for the future did for the employees of Chrysler.

In order to discover the company`s vision and those of all owners or executives to see if they can align on a shared vision, several questions must be answered: What are the fundamental commitments in building this company? How would the owners or executives want the company to be so that they could be truly proud of it, happy and excited about walking into it every morning? What are the company’s commitments with regard to its customers? How would management want them to speak about the company? What about the employees? How does management want it to be like for them to work with the company? How would the owners or executives want to be treated? What is the company committed to with regard to the community in which it operates? What is the difference the company is to make in the lives of its customers and employees and in the community? What is the unique contribution that the company has to make?

Do these questions sound beyond the realm of ordinary conversation? They are exactly the conversations that are not had in companies that need to be had if a shared vision is to emerge and the first essential characteristic for a true partnership is to be present.

2. Inclusion

We live in a very individualistic culture. Our country is the birthplace of the entrepreneur. We are the rugged individualists. Our folk heroes are John Wayne, the Lone Ranger, Emelia Erhard and Superman.

Entrepreneurs in particular are individual decision makers. If something needs to be done, they make a decision and do it. Might others be adversely effected by the decision? Yes, naturally, but they will be dealt with later. Right now, someone has got to make a decision.

Our entrepreneurial, bottom line quality is both our strength and our weakness. It works to produce results, but it doesn`t work to build solid and deep relationships, and that`s what`s missing.

A true partnership operates in a way which is clearly distinct. People do not make decisions which effect their partners without fully discussing the decision with them. When an issue needs to be resolved, partners work to build consensus. Every point of view is listened to and considered. Every possible attempt is made to reach a conclusion that works for everyone, with nobody left out. People`s feelings and strong points of view are considered.

The above discussion does not preclude the possibility of creating a management team or individual and delegating decision-making authority to that team or individual. But in such cases, the team and/or individual must be keenly sensitive to the individual points of view of his or her partners. When a decision needs to be made, and there is doubt as to whether the decision will be acceptable to all, discussion must take place to insure that all points of view are considered. In summary, in a true partnership, decision makers are sensitive to the fact that they are not islands, that their actions impact everyone, and everyone else`s point of view becomes as important as their own.

3. Trust

In the ordinary course of events, people simply do not trust one another. It has been grilled into every little child: do not take candy from a stranger; do not talk to strangers; be careful! It is part of our culture not to trust. So trust becomes something to be given very carefully. And to make matters worse, everyone has been taken advantage of, fooled or duped on a number of occasions.

Trust must be earned after a long period of careful scrutiny. Only after people have performed consistently, for an extended period of time, can they be trusted, and only so long as they continue to perform. If they stumble, trust is quickly revoked.

The problem with having this kind of relationship to trust is that it does not take into consideration the fundamental nature of human beings. The truth of the matter is that people are not trustworthy. People are fallible; that is part of being human. No one will consistently perform as promised, keep their word, do everything that they say they will do by when they say they will do it.

This being the case, there is another, more powerful way to relate to trust. Consider the possibility that trust can be generated, by declaration, and be stood for ongoingly. This is the kind of trust that is essential in a true partnership. Trusting simply because it is a spoken commitment of the company, fully acknowledging that human beings will make mistakes. When individuals do make mistakes, others can expect that they will be acknowledged and everything necessary to resolve the mistakes will be done. Once resolved, an individual`s humanness or the fact that he/she has messed up must not cause a revocation of trust. In this scenario, trust is a context for people to work together. It is something that is generated ongoingly and a place to come from in dealing with the realities of business.

4. Listening to each other

It is generally assumed that listening is a passive phenomenon, that what is heard corresponds exactly to what is said. Nothing could be further from the truth. Listening is a very active phenomenon. Everyone has an inner voice that talks 24 hours a day. That little voice does not stop when someone else speaks. It is through that little voice that all listening takes place, and that little voice operates as a filter, modifying all communication that takes place. For the most part, that little voice severely limits everyone`s ability to listen to another. Notice the little voice the next time someone comes in to speak: get to the point; why are you telling me this; is this good what you are telling me or is this bad; do I like what you are saying or do I not like it; do I believe in what you are saying, is it the truth; shut up now; I know what you are about to tell me; I agree/disagree with that.

Clearly, this sort of listening will have a dpamatic impact on what is `einc qaid( It is pkqshbl`, hmvevdp, tl!paha ahap`a `hg%febaq`te a different way to listen that allows for the development of a powerful relationship among partners. This is not difficult to do since listening is simply a conversation that one has with one`s self. It is actually quite simple and straightforward to generate a different conversation by becoming aware of the automatic, already listening.

What individual conversations then could be generated? What if one listened: what is the possibility in what you are speaking; I really care about your thoughts and opinions so I`ll listen carefully for the goal of your communication; your thoughts and opinions are just as important as mine; how can we both win out of this communication. In a true partnership, these later alternative forms of listening provide the context for more powerful interactions between partners and for more effective action.

5. Respect for each other

Respect is very much like trust. In the ordinary course of events, respect must be earned, only after people have proven their ability, their talent, that they can produce results. Often it`s worse than that. People are frequently respected only because they are liked. If an individual is disliked, they are discounted and distrusted. This way of dealing with respect is very disempowering in a relationship.

So again it is essential in a true partnership that respect be generated, by declaration, and be stood for ongoingly. Respect means acknowledging human beings and standing for their worthiness and value. Respect means giving up the right to judge ongoingly and deciding to give respect based upon commitment rather than upon the results produced. Again, an individuals humanness and seeming lack of productivity and perfection will not cause a revocation of respect. In this scenario, respect is a context for people to work together. It is something that is generated, a place to come from.

6. Open and honest communication

To be human is to have expectations. Expectations come with the territory. This condition is neither good nor bad; it`s just the way that it is. However, the inevitable result of these automatic expectations is disappointment, for no one can possibly live up to all of another`s expectations all of the time.

What happens when the typical individual notices a disappointment? Do they communicate it to the people with whom they are disappointed? Rarely. For the most part, people do not communicate, and their communication is withheld for what appears to be valid reasons. Everyone wants to avoid upsetting others. No one wants to deal with another`s reaction or with what they might say. It usually looks like it is not safe to communicate disappointments. Experience dictates that some reprisal is almost sure to follow. Further, few people are willing to put their professional relationships at risk by communicating. Finally, even "enlightened" people, who recognize ownership of their expectations, do not want to burden other people with their disappointments.

As a result of this reasoning, people conclude that it`s okay not to say anything and that the disappointment will go away. Unfortunately this is only an illusion because the disappointment doesn`t disappear. What people do is to open a metaphorical "file" on the other person and to enter the disappointment into the file. Then, in order to justify what they have done, it becomes incumbent upon them to collect evidence that the initial entry was correct. Every minor unfulfilled expectation is now noticed even more critically and is entered into the file. Eventually, the file becomes so big and so much of a burden that it literally must be dumped on the other.

Everyone will remember the last time this happened. Something that should have been perceived as a minor irritation by another caused a major explosion. It happens over and over again. This is life.

The phenomenon occurs on a very grand scale in most companies. Partners consistently do not communicate with each other, quietly building their files and eventually unloading. It is no mystery why so many people chose to live in quiet isolation. They do not want to have to tolerate the continuous upsets that come along with partnership relationships.

For most, however, this is an inappropriate adaptation to the phenomenon of withheld communications rather than an effective antidote. The appropriate behavior is open and honest communication. This means not paving over anything. Communicating disappointments when they occur so that they do not build up, and communicating responsibly one`s own expectations, rather than discussing what the other person has done "wrong."

In order to discover what is not being communicated to each other, partners must sit down and write out the answers to the following questions with regard to all of their partners, associates and staff members:

My expectations of you that unfulfilled are ...

I am disappointed in you/me/our relationship in that ...

What I am not saying to you is ...

What I am making you wrong for ...

What I am making me wrong for is ...

What I am not acknowledging you for is ...

What I am feeling unacknowledged for is ...

The responses to these questions must be communicated regularly and ongoingly. Everything that needs to be said must be said, and the truth must be told without sugarcoating or holding anything back. If the listener is willing to listen with compassion, then files can remain empty, and the most critical aspect of a true partnership may be created.

7. Compassion for each other`s feelings

Recently, a few, specific psychological conversations have become fashionable. The terms "co-dependency" and "dysfunctional family" are on everyone`s lips, and people rush to the store to buy John Bradshaw`s latest book on healing the inner child.

What needs to be finally acknowledged is that to some degree everyone is co-dependent, that all individuals came from families that were in some way dysfunctional. The world is dysfunctional. Crime, poverty, drug abuse, war, anger, violence are everywhere. Within everyone is a sensitive, damaged, and often angry child who grew up in a world where appropriate vehicles to heal the hurts were unavailable. The simple phenomenon of growing up has left people damaged.

Despite all of the knowledge available today, appropriate means for dealing with this damage are still not within the grasp of most, so the damage is brought to work and acted out in a number of unacceptable and inappropriate ways. People at work neither understand what is going on with an upset individual nor do they know what to do about the inappropriate behavior. There seems to be little that can be done. It is an individual`s responsibility to work out his or her own "stuff," single-handedly or with an appropriate professional.

There is, however, something that can be done in the office. Faced with another`s upset, co-workers can generate compassion, can take the time to listen, to understand and appreciate how it must be for the upset individual. Anyone can authentically care that another human being is hurt and upset. A little compassion goes a long, long way to having another feel that he or she is not alone in life and that someone else understands and appreciates what he or she is going through.

8. No competition

People at work would do well to model their partnerships after sports teams like professional basketball or football teams. On a football team, everyone plays a different position. One position isn`t more important than another. Everyone has a different job to do, and the success of the entire team depends upon everyone doing his job, contributing what he has to contribute. It is evident on a basketball team that if players compete with their teammates once the game has begun, try to gain individual recognition at the expense of a teammate, that there would be no possibility of the team achieving it`s goals. Before the Chicago Bulls won the NBA Championship, Michael Jordon beautifully said, "It`s hard to celebrate individual accolades with the team and with people, with fans. It`s a lot better when you do it as a team, when you become champions as a team. Then everyone can feel some of the excitement that you feel."

Most people do not see the parallel of teamwork in a company. Partners competing against one another may appear healthy. It isn`t. For one person to win, another must lose, and nobody likes losing. When people in a business begin to compete with one another, the process of the partnerships` disintegration begins. In a true partnership, everyone understand his or her role, does the very best for the common good. In a true partnership, people win and lose together.

9. No righteousness

It one were to take life and turn it into a board game and the board game could be set up to operate exactly the way human beings operate, the perfect name for the game would be "Be Right." Being right seems to be the greatest passion of human beings. People will do anything just to be right. Look around from this perspective. This need for people to be right shows up every day in every court room. It shows up in relationships, between groups of people, between nations and between political groups. It`s everywhere, and it`s pervasive.

Not only are individuals oriented towards being right, they are committed to being right. Unfortunately, when one is committed to being right, what he or she leaves in his or her wake are others who have been made wrong. This is why being right and being happy cannot co-exist. It may look like being right provides happiness, but look again. The happiness is momentary. People are made wrong, relationships are destroyed, nations go to war against nations and, more at home, partners fight with each other. In this right/wrong scenario, no true partnership is possible.

A true partnership operates in a way which is clearly distinct. Partners are willing to give up their positions, their opinions, their firmly held beliefs, their need to be right, in order to reach consensus, to serve the majority, to discover what would work best for everyone. Every point of view is listened to and considered. Every possible attempt is made to reach a consensus, with nobody left out. Partners are more committed to the success of the partnership than to their own passionately held positions.

10. Embracing the differences

Here again the sports team analogy is useful. Not everyone can be a great quarterback, a great shooting guard or a great shortstop. There is room on the football team for blockers and tacklers, running backs and receivers. Furthermore, every great quarterback knows that he is nothing without his supporting cast. Sports seems to demand of people that they recognize and learn to appreciate the differences in their teammates and to include those differences on behalf of the success of the team.

Most people have not learned this essential lesson. Most people are constantly comparing the others around them to themselves. Most people criticize others whenever they don`t live up to some set of standards or envy them when they`ve exceeded them. This way of being fosters the right/wrong, good/bad phenomenon discussed previously, leading to envy, jealousy and antagonism, the forerunners of the disintegration of most partnerships.

A workable company has finders, grinders, minders and binders; finders to bring in the work, grinders to do the work, minders to manage the firm and binders to bring people together. Unfortunately, in our culture, more credit is given to a finder than the others. But what`s the good of finding if you can`t grind, mind and bind?

In a true partnership, everyone`s contribution is acknowledged and appreciated and used to the maximum for the benefit of the team. In a true partnership, it is important that all involved recognize and learn to appreciate who they are and who their partners are and to include the differences. When this is done, the differences can provide strength and opportunity to the partnership.

SUMMARY

The importance of the aforementioned characteristics of partnership cannot be overlooked or minimized. Successful partnerships are dependent upon the quality of the relationships that exist between the human beings in the partnership, not upon the quality of the legal documents that establish the partnership. It is by mastering these ten characteristics that people can gain control over the effectiveness and success of their legal relationship, and formulate a partnership that lasts.

About the Author:
Scott Hunter is a professional speaker, workshop leader, consultant and coach. He speaks on creating meaningful, quality relationships in the workplace to increase productivity, creativity, teamwork and profitability. He can be reached at scott@thpalliance.com. Visit his web site: www.thpalliance.com.